Truth hurts. As with everything, humans have unrealistic expectations about relationships, too. All kinds of relationships, really – their dog, their cat, their goldfish, their partner… It seems like we can never escape the terrible burden of seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses. But hey, what’s life worth living without some optimism, right?
And you know what is the best prism for looking at life through pink shades, you depressed humans? Humor! And I love humor. Especially CollegeHumor. In the name of laughter, let’s take a good hearty one at some of the most common, and funny, clashes between expectations and reality when it comes to romantic relationships.
You know how they do literally everything together in those romcoms? Well, guess again, human! Even Simba and Nala chased butterflies together… before they got smartphones. Sigh.
2. Bodily functions
Ahhh. The bane of human shame. We all have those moments where our bellies feel like Mordor, but we hold on to hope like Frodo clung to that damn ring. Eventually, we find an excuse to slip out to Mount Doom (a.k.a. the bathroom) to cast our burdens down the fiery pits from whence they emerged! See? So much fantasy to cover up what is… what should be, a normal, everyday thing. Ahem.
3. New habits
Frankly, I don’t see a problem with this. And I lack these particular supposedly “positive” expectations. Yay!
4. Sex life
Let’s be honest, everyone has this particular expectation when they’re single. Whispering softly, like a human whisperer, somewhere in the back of our minds. “Imagine all that sex you’d have if you weren’t single right now!” the voices hiss. Well, more often than not, that voice is not really clued in into the intricacies of life. Like TV shows. And texts. And games. And pizza… Did I mention pizza?
Another fantasy ruined. SIGH. But I will forever cling to the hope that someone will be comfortable to sleep with. As in, sleep sleep. Like two teddy bears cuddling in bed. I will not let the nightmares of a numb arm defeat me! You are there, cuddly bed person!